Harley Quinn, Spider-Gwen, and Ms. Marvel welcome you to a whole wide world of whimsy and wonder!

It’s that time of year again! Today marked the sixteenth annual Free Comic Book Day, the one official holiday in my lifelong hobby when comic book shops across America lure in fans and curious onlookers with a great big batch of free new comics from all the major publishers and a bevy of smaller competitors deserving shelf space and consideration. It’s easy to remember when to pin it on the calendar because it’s always the first Saturday of every May and virtually always coincidental with a major movie release (in 2017’s case, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2). It’s also easy to notice if you live near a comic shop and the parking spaces are much scarcer than normal.

I’m too late for this entry to be immediately useful, but for future generations who might be considering participating in the joy of reading and/or the rush for freebies, we offer the following ideas for maximizing your graphic storytelling holiday to the fullest extent, whether you’re brand new to comics collecting or a savvy peer who likes nodding along with solid reminders.

1. Find a local comic shop! Most large cities and many medium cities have comic shops available. If you haven’t noticed one in plain sight, the Comic Shop Locator will help sort you out with pointers to viable options in your area.

If you’re among the far too many Americans who live in a comics desert, where no shop is within a fair radius of your home because of the economy or rampant illiteracy or local Footloose-esque laws that oppress comics instead of dancing, I strongly recommend checking with the online comics purveyors who sometimes find ways to deliver the fun directly to you through internet magic. Alternatively: zillions of webcomics are free everyday, so it’s great motivation to go digging. I wish I could better assist with this contingency, but I’m old and addicted to my paper comics. I’m not even crazy about digital music, so I’m the wrong guy to ask for comiXology browsing hints.

2. Plan ahead! The official Free Comic Book Day site posts a list in advance of all FCBD offerings that retailers could choose to carry for the occasion. Not every shop will carry every title, but it’s safe to assume all the major publishers will be represented. At the very least, seeing the potential options should give you hope and stoke your excitement level.

3. Arrive early! Comics are free while they last, but sometimes they don’t last. Sixteen years into this tradition, FCBD has built up decent attendance in most areas, and some titles run out more quickly than others. For the widest selection available, you’ll want to get there while the getting’s good or else there’ll be no more getting to be gotten. What constitutes “early” is up to you — my wife and I usually plan to show up at least 60-90 minutes before the doors are unlocked for the morning. In some states and weather conditions, check the weather forecast and gear up as needed. If the thought of standing in a long line for an hour or more is a turn-off, I do understand. Long lines aren’t for everyone. To us geeks it’s all part of the game.

4. Keep your camera handy! Some shops stage special events the day of. We’ve seen FCBD welcomes and sideshows provided by cosplayers, local fan clubs, actual comics creators, local musicians, charity drives, random Samaritans bearing donuts, face painters, and roller derby teams. One of the many fantastic things about comics is the broad intersection they provide for entertainment lovers from across all media and spheres. You never know what kind of talents will be in the house or interacting with the crowd. If what they do looks cool, you’ll naturally want to commemorate that in picture form for all your friends and followers.

Classic Ms. Marvel and the unbeatable Squirrel Girl are kinda like LeVar Burton hosting Reading Rainbow but times 100.

5. Choose carefully! Once you’re inside the door, walk (don’t run because there’s no space for that) calmly to the assigned tables or racks bearing the specific Free Comic Book Day issues designated for the occasion. If the shop posts rules limiting how many you can take, play nice. If they’re cool with you nabbing whatever, that’s fine, but you don’t have to be greedy. You don’t need one of everything, especially not the kiddie-only fare if you’re over 12. Each comic you leave behind means one more fan at the end of the day won’t leave empty-handed and depressed and ranting through tears about how Free Comic Book Day is just a sham holiday that Hallmark made up to sell more Peanuts greeting cards.

6. There is no number 6. Look, there just isn’t, okay?

7. Shop around! Fun trivia most comics fans already know because we remind each other constantly every year: those free comics aren’t free to the retailers. They’re purchasing them from the distributor same as any other comics on sale. FCBD is entirely a voluntary promotion meant as community outreach, which means they’re bankrolling this splendid event from their own coffers, while the publishers still get paid. Comic shop ownership generally sees razor-thin profit margins and moves less than .01% of its careerists into upper tax brackets. So while you’re there…see all those hundreds of thousands of other objects lying around the store? Maybe look through the other comics, graphic novels, toys, T-shirts, and ephemera and buy a thing or two or ten. Not only do you end up with more new things, it’s a nice way of thanking them for their part in this special day and supporting businesses, in that order.

8. Road trip for more! If you’re extraordinarily blessed to live in a city or town that supports more than one comic shop (Indianapolis has at least six or seven), and if you have the time and funds and gas, why not go drop by other shops and see what they’ve made of it. Say hi to more cosplayers, grab another freebie you didn’t see at the first shop, buy even more stuff, keep FCBD alive, repeat until you’re out of either shops, time, money, or space in your trunk.

9. Make time for reading! Congratulations! You now have a reading pile, if you didn’t when you woke up that morning. At some point you’ll need to dive right in and live vicariously through those varied imaginations and universes and licensed merchandise all-stars. Peruse the pictures, absorb the written word, watch those two sides work together in a loving harmony that encourages art appreciation, vocabulary building, and narrative thrills all at once.

For the record, #9 is the step where I failed this year. We’ve been so nonstop busy today that…well, there’s a reason why I’m writing this entry at 11 p.m. about what fun we had at 11 a.m. As of this moment I’ve read 4½ of the 15 comics my wife and I selected, and will likely be scrounging for quality reading time tomorrow. Don’t be me: read now, read often, read faster, glare menacingly at anyone who tries to stop you mid-page.

10. Spread the love! Once you’ve finished, what do you do next? Tell other readers which ones were amazing. Write reviews, as I’ll be doing here in the next day or two because it’s what I do. Return to the shop in the weeks ahead to spend more money on those publishers or creators who brightened your life. For extra credit, once you’re done with your FCBD stash, consider pass on a few books to other folks that you think might get a kick out of them. If you’re hoarding them only because you dream of selling them on eBay someday, you’re like the Grinch of Free Comic Book Day yanking stories and inspiration out of the little hands of all the Whos down in Whoville.

Free Comic Book Day isn’t about fiduciary investment. It’s about the comics. Honestly: duh. Don’t make us have to send Squirrel Girl to your house to beat some super-hero altruism into your head.

Our Free Comic Book Day 2017 reading pile, less than half the total titles that were in stock. ‘Twas a good year.

Full disclosure: beyond this haul, I also spent money on an issue of Astro City I was missing; the most recent issues of Hawkeye, Angel, and R. L. Stine’s Man-Thing; and Jeff Lemire’s Essex County. Yay comics!

Yondu and Mary Poppins. Um, mild spoiler for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.

My wife and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our respective birthdays together traveling to some new place or attraction as a one-day road trip — partly as an excuse to spend time together on those most wondrous days, partly to explore areas of Indiana we’ve never experienced before. For my 45th birthday, we decided to expand those parameters.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: we’ve ruminated from time to time on the possibility of attending comic book/entertainment conventions in other areas outside our hometown of Indianapolis. While researching other Hoosier sightseeing options we haven’t tried yet for our birthdays (we haven’t quite run out of historical sites, odd museums, or pretty nature), I decided to check into American comic-con schedules for the weekend, assuming I’d find nothing within a thousand miles of home. I was surprised to discover a handful of results, including a rather large one at the top of the list.

This weekend Anne and I had the pleasure of attending the 28th annual Motor City Comic Con in the city of Novi, a safe suburb northwest of Detroit, some 300 miles from home. Well established and catering to fans of comics and media guests alike, MCCC is a shade smaller than our two regular Chicago shows, but proved an excellent reason to return to Michigan for our first time in fifteen years.

But first and foremost, per our standard convention procedures: cosplay! Presenting a showcase of all the costumes we photographed during our hours walking through and around the exhibit hall on Saturday. Longtime readers know the drill; hence, costumes from MCCC here on MCC. Enjoy the gallery!

SECTION 1: MARVEL AND DC!

The sinister foes of Spider-Man: Kraven the Hunter, the Rhino, Mysterio, and the Shocker.

I brake for any and every Moon Knight, even if we’ve already met.

Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Woman.

Mandatory Deadpool variant #1: um, outback Deadpool?

Mandatory Deadpool variant #2: uhhh, killer maid Deadpool?

Moondragon! In the Marvel comics universe she’s technically kindasorta related to Drax, whose origin was a bit different back in the days before he hooked up with the Guardians of the Galaxy.

Aquaman, soon to be a major movie star. He’s a real righteous dude!

Deadshot, the erstwhile Batman villain who beat both Aquaman and Wonder Woman to Hollywood stardom.

Grifter from the WildCATs was dragged into the DC Universe several years ago, though currently seems to be on a separate Earth. The Ringwraith wishes someone would drag him into a paying super-gig.

Also soon to be dragged kicking and screaming into the DC Universe, quite probably: Rorschach from Watchmen.

SECTION 2: STAR WARS!

Teaser image from Star Wars: The Last Jedi in which Kylo Ren introduces his new apprentice Mini-Ren.

Chewbacca ready and willing to harm his way through the dense crowds.

Mara Jade lives! The patron saint of the Star Wars Expanded Universe hangs out with another unidentified Wookiee.

Mandalorians punish a fan for telling them to their faces that Boba Fett sucks.

Over by the 501st Legion booth we caught a brief parade of Muppet-themed Stormtroopers, beginning with Bunsen T. Honeydew, who I guess would be their science officer.

Dr. Teeth, the Trooper most likely to have internet radio piped into his helmet.

Trooper Sweetums, least likely to wear a helmet.

Sam the Eagle, who’s more tired of your nonsense than Vader is.

SECTION 3: AND THE REST!

Buzz Lightyear to the rescue, but of course.

My wife is a massive Twilight Zone fan and will dedicate all available resources to hunting down any related costumes. Case in point: one of the doctors from “Eye of the Beholder”.

One of the Ood, brain in hand, from Doctor Who.

Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie, on hand to meet one of the con’s most special guests.

A Saturday Night Live fan as Norm MacDonald as Burt Reynolds as “Turd Ferguson” from “Celebrity Jeopardy!” I am now all out of prepositions.

The Dread Pirate Roberts: still not left-handed.

Kitana, Mileena, and Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat. FRIENDSHIP!

Rare sighting of the elusive Wilson from Home Improvement.

Predator, wishing someone would put in a good word for him with Ridley Scott.

Strawberry Shortcake hanging out with two of her mortal enemines. At right is Sour Grapes; at left is (my wife quite obviously had to help me with this one) the Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak. Can’t wait for the gritty reboot version.

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! From the wacky world of Spongebob Squarepants.

From the bygone era of Ren & Stimpy: Powdered Toast Man returns!

Representing for Toontown: Roger and Jessica Rabbit!

To be concluded!

Spider-Gal, Spider-Gal / Does whatever a spider shall / Spins a web, catches creeps / Strikes a pose, plays for keeps!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: on June 9th and 10th my wife Anne and I attended the 39th annual Superman Celebration in Metropolis, IL, a grand bash in honor of the Man of Steel in particular and all the super-heroes who owe their existence and livelihoods to him in general.

And of course there were costumes! Lots of cosplayers spiffing up the town with their favorite characters from the worlds of comics, film, TV, animation, and toy stores. I’ll shut up now and let the photo gallery roll!

(Special thanks to my son for light naming assistance.)

Of course Superman was there. On Friday he led a kids’ costume parade from the north end of Market Street to the Superman statue, noisemakers at full volume all the way.

The parade’s big finale: a group statue rendezvous.

Of course Supergirl was in town to mark the occasion and say hi to her cousin and whatnot.

Another Supergirl hanging out with Vigilante (Golden Age version), the Wizard (old-time DC villain), and Marlon Brando’s Jor-El.

Wonder Woman representation was increased manifold this year. Her movie’s now in theaters. You might’ve heard of it. It’s a big deal.

Another Wonder Woman tries to see the good inside Bizarro. But him give Wonder Woman film 0/10, call it “not awesome and extra rotten!”

When we’re talking Superman villains, it wouldn’t be a complete lineup without Lex Luthor.

Aquaman bides his time, waiting for his big chance to become America’s Next Top DC Hero. SOON.

Guaranteed not to hassle Aquaman in his film: his evil twin Nuclear Man from Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.

It wouldn’t be a gathering of comics fans without at least one Deadpool variant. Filling that critical quota is not-so-mild-mannered Clark Kentpool.

Daily Planet staff meeting! Perry, Jimmy, Lois and Clark hang out by an old-timey car in front of the Super Museum.

Also from the automotive department: Harley Quinn crosses the media to smash Tim Burton’s Batmobile to bits.

Also speaking loudly and carrying a big stick: Casey Jones on patrol, Turtles or no Turtles.

The JLA’s heroic android Red Tornado flanked by new versions of Zatanna and Cheshire from the Young Justice animated series.

A very special Teen Titans/Marvel Family team-up! Mary Marvel, Captain Marvel, Wonder Girl and Superboy.

Saturn Girl, founding member of the Legion of Super-Heroes, brings greetings from the 30th and/or 31st centuries.

Originally the Shade was a straightforward Golden Age DC villain, but fans of the wondrous James Robinson/Tony Harris 1990s Starman series recall his complicated life rather differently.

The most elaborate costume we saw this weekend: John Henry Irons IS Steel.

Fun science fact to keep in mind: whereas your average convention cosplayer spends most of their time indoors and surrounded by air conditioning that helps counter all the body heat milling around them and inside their costumes, all of these fine folks were cosplaying outdoors in summertime in temperatures pushing 90 degrees, some for hours at a time. Their dedication and stamina are impressive and enviable and I hope other fans brought them lots and lots of water.

To be continued! Other chapters in this special MCC miniseries:

Part 1: All-Stars! (photos with our special guests!)
Part 3: Festival Food!
Part 4: Who else we met, what else we did!

The Spectre, DC Comics’ renowned spirit of vengeance, bids you welcome to the land of the vengeful!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: on Saturday my wife Anne and I attended FandomFest in Louisville, KY, the twelfth iteration of this entertainment/”comic” convention that’s quite low on comics, heavy on controversy, improper in its online customer service, saddled with a years-old negative image not really helped by the depressing role call of thirty-one canceled guests, and graded a solid F by the Better Business Bureau. But beyond the mountains of baggage, their volunteers were pretty friendly to us in person despite their upper management, and the fifteen actors in the house seemed like decent folks.

But enough about that. Are you as tired of reading about FandomFest’s issues as I am of typing about them? If not, I totally understand and I hope one day true customer satisfaction will be yours without requiring a nasty blood vendetta against the Lochners. Until then: we got costumes! Lots of costumes! Fans do love the cosplayers and their cosplay. Backroom shenanigans or not, dozens of cosplayers sported their finest duds this weekend and did what they could for the sake of convention quality-of-life and their favorite characters. Enjoy!

Continuing the theme of “characters pointing or aiming things at us” is Savitar, self-styled “god” of speed and mortal enemy of the Flash.

Doctor Doom in his rare Future Foundation variant armor.

The unbeatable Squirrel Girl and Tippy-Toe the squirrel wonder.

Scarecrow, who wants to show Batman something up close…

…HIS SURPRISE EXTENDABLE JAW, which made Anne jump about three feet back.

Jack Skellington getting antsy between holidays.

Miles Morales, your other friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

Robocop thanks you for your cooperation.

In addition to the usual sonic screwdriver, the Tenth Doctor brought his spare hand and a tiny dollop of Adipose.

The Doctor’s extremely good friend River Song, one among many Doctor Who fans really missing Paul McGann and Daphne Ashbrook this weekend. (Check out her official page for more cosplay fun.)

In case you thought I was kidding about Colonel Sanders cosplay in Part One. And he even brought one of Gonzo’s girlfriends for lunch!

Continuing the theme of “fans who insisted on posing with Anne”: Moana!

Mandatory Deadpool. I think the variant-Deadpool cosplay fad is finally dying, judging by its absence here.

Count Orlok from Nosferatu, energetically working the show floor on behalf of The Devil’s Attic, a local Halloween haunted house.

The kindly Lego Batman tabling on behalf of the Ohio River Valley Cosplayers and Prop Builders, a fine cosplay group that participates in local charity events. Their next benefit will be a street painting festival in October on behalf of the Foster Children of New Beginnings Foundation.

Earl Alois Trancy (Black Butler II) and Elizabeth Midford (Black Butler: Book of the Atlantic) meet Belle and Prince Adam, both really missing those five canceled Beauty and the Beast guests.

Nightwing, Killer Croc, and Two-Face.

Star-Lord, Gamora, and li’l Baby Groot.

Director Krennic from Rogue One.

A Jawa in a Sandcrawler that also functions as a wheelchair. Not sure if it fit into the Macy’s elevator.

The Black Knight, limbs intact before the flesh wounds.

Ursula, wondering if the mall food court sells scoops of mermaid on rice.

If you’ve read the great Planet Hulk, then you know this variant. If not, you’ll get to see extracts from it in Thor: Ragnarok.

Margaret Kerry, one of the thirty-one cancellations, was the original voice of Tinkerbell from Peter Pan. A shame she missed this awesome tribute.

The End. Thanks for reading! Hopefully we can find a great non-FandomFest opportunity to return someday to the Kentucky convention scene. If so, see you then!

I’m so old, I remember when the Tick wasn’t an Amazon Prime superstar, and creator Ben Edlund was still writing and drawing his adventures.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

It’s that time once more! This weekend my wife and I made another journey up to Wizard World Chicago in scenic Rosemont, IL, where we found much enjoyment and new purchases alongside peers and aficionados of comics and genre entertainment. Friday night left us near death by the end of our day, after a few miles’ worth of walking up and down the aisles and hallways, with breaks to go stand in lines of varying lengths and value. We’re the Goldens. It’s who we are and what we do.

…and what we nearly always do is lead off a new convention miniseries with the mandatory cosplay galleries. We captured whoever we could while wandering the show floor Friday and Saturday in between the long lines and longer waits. (For a few reasons we skipped Sunday this year.) I have no idea how many chapters this particular experience will run, but the first three will represent a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of the costumes that were in the house. Because I always feel the need to divide cosplayers into arbitrary categories, our first set spotlights the stars of screen and page from the world of Marvel, DC Comics, and other publishers out there, as well as from their movie and TV adaptations. Gentle reminder: there are more than two comics publishers out there. Enjoy!

This Joker with a pitch-perfect Mark Hamill voice kept us company when security wouldn’t let anyone pass through the Skybridge before 10:30 a.m. on Friday.

Groot police lineup.

If you thought Thawne, Zoom, or Savitar were creepy speedsters, wait’ll you get a load of this Flash.

Differently creepy but also accurate: Joker from Batman: The Killing Joke.

Jessica Jones and her spunky sidekick Daredevil.

Spawn , for the remaining Todd McFarlane fans out there.

Raven from the Teen Titans.

Doctor Octopus and Bane lead a support group for popular comics villains who’ve only appeared in one movie sequel each.

Lady Deadpool! Somehow, incredibly, the only Deadpool variant we got all weekend.

Batman Beyond, preparing to soar through the Stephens Center lobby. Good luck with that.

According to our limited anecdotal statistics, this year female Negans outnumbered male Negans 2-to-1.

The all-new all-different Vulture from Spider-Man: Homecoming.

Revolutionary War Captain America, guaranteed 100% Nazi-free.

Drax + Gamora! Fun story: we didn’t realized till we got closer that they were familiar folks. Anne first met them in Burt Reynolds’ photo-op line at WWC 2015, where they hung out together and had a blast. And they get jazz hands. Awesome folks, awesome costumes.

To be continued!

I understand Disney’s live-action Beauty & the Beast is 2017’s highest-grossing film in America. On a related note, here’s Belle and Prince Adam, waiting for you to tell your 70,000 closest friends to come here and see this photo, please and thank you.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

It’s that time once more! This weekend my wife and I made another journey up to Wizard World Chicago in scenic Rosemont, IL, where we found much enjoyment and new purchases alongside peers and aficionados of comics and genre entertainment. Friday night left us near death by the end of our day, after a few miles’ worth of walking up and down the aisles and hallways, with breaks to go stand in lines of varying lengths and value. We’re the Goldens. It’s who we are and what we do.

…and naturally cosplay photos are all part of the service, otherwise why bother conventioning. Last time we showed you some costumes, and now please enjoy more from myriad animated realms.

Moana from Disney’s Moana starring Moana as Moana.

Her demigod sidekick Maui, who had a heck of a time with this hook while waiting in Billy Boyd’s photo op line.

Sheriff Woody and Little Bo Peep, on a rare furlough from Andy’s room.

Ruby Rose from the Rooster Teeth series RWBY. When I first spotted the scythe, I ignorantly yelled “Soul Eater!” and now I can never go back to Rosemont.

Gumby and Pokey, possibly the only Claymation characters around.

On Friday a group of Simpsons cosplayers ruled the main lobby for a while. Old fans will remember Marge’s sister Patty and the Crazy Cat Lady.

The Devil Flanders from “Treehouse of Horror IV”.

Homer’s forbidden donut, from the same episode. Meanwhile in the background, Mayor Quimby bides his time.

Marge in her Chanel suit from the episode “Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield” and — from my second favorite Simpsons episode of all time — Hank Scorpio, Homer’s one-time boss and global terrorist.

The family that cosplays together: the cast of Avatar: The Last Airbender, give or take one.

Bazooka from GI Joe. I like to think if he’d made the transition from Hasbro cartoons to live-action, maybe those two movies would have sucked just a little less.

I have no idea if Thrawn is still Grand Admiral in Star Wars Rebels or if he’s still working his way up to the rank he held in Timothy Zahn’s novels.

Man-at-Arms from the beloved toy ad He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, with special off-topic guest Wild West Batman.

Thought you could escape politics at a comic con? Crysta and Batty from FernGully: The Last Rainforest would like to talk to you about the environment.

To be continued! Other chapters in this special miniseries so far:

Prologue: Two Notes from Wizard World Chicago 2017
Part 1: Comics Cosplay!
[more coming soon]
Part 3: Last Call for Cosplay

The mysterious Hands of Blue from Firefly, on the hunt for WWC guests River Tam and River Song. Their next target after that: possibly Melissa Rivers.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

It’s that time once more! This weekend my wife and I made another journey up to Wizard World Chicago in scenic Rosemont, IL, where we found much enjoyment and new purchases alongside peers and aficionados of comics and genre entertainment. Friday night left us near death by the end of our day, after a few miles’ worth of walking up and down the aisles and hallways, with breaks to go stand in lines of varying lengths and value. We’re the Goldens. It’s who we are and what we do.

…I know, I know, less typing, more costume photo galleries. While you enjoy I’ll just be sitting over here in a musty corner, waiting to get back to writing paragraphs at some point. ‘sokay, I ain’t jealous.

So: cosplay! From gaming, movies, TV, and cereal!

Princess Daphne swoons for her hero Dirk the Daring from Dragon’s Lair.

Luigi, Waluigi, Mario, Princess Peach, and Bowser from the Donkey Kong Gaming Universe.

The Luigi and Bowser of Earth-2.

Possibly from both earths, a Bob-Omb and a Super Mario gold coin brick.

Auron from Final Fantasy X. I’m annoyed that I overlooked Lightning from FFIII.

Subject Delta from Bioshock 2.

An Umbrella Corporation soldier from the Resident Evil series, standing watch in the lobby. I could easily imagine Wizard World outsourcing their security to them.

It never fails: every con, I take at least one pic of a character I think I recognize but I don’t. Hey, did any bosses out there lose a henchman?

Frank from Donnie Darko.

Predator awaiting prey by the Wizard World souvenir store.

Pennywise, soon to star in a major motion picture suffering from Tim Curry deficiency.

Full disclosure: I feel a little less old whenever I tell people the Blues Brothers were before my time. I’ve never seen the movie, and my first Saturday Night Live episode as a kid aired during the golden age of Eddie Murphy.

Griff Tannen, future idiot son of Biff from Back to the Future Part II. I am eternally relieved none of his alt-timeline fashion trends came to pass.

Possibly Darth Revan. possibly an original Sith Lord or possibly a video game Darth. My wife knows the old Star Wars Expanded Universe novels, but never got into the games.

Lucky the Leprechaun, worried the kids are after his Lucky Charms because they’re slightly more edible than the Convention Center chow.

The Headless Horseman minus horse, which makes him the Headless Walker. Or the Headless Stroller. The Headless Traipser. Whatever.

The Twelfth Doctor steers clear of the Weeping Angel’s line of sight.

Also from the world of Doctor Who: Missy! One of the best parts of the Peter Capaldi era.

“Why, I do daresay I am rather quite Mary Poppins, you all!” (Bert the chimney sweep merely nods and smiles. Good plan, Bert.)

Glinda the Good Witch reminds you that you had the cosplay power in you all along! My work here is done!

McCree, different McCree, Symmetra, Torbjorn, Widowmaker, and D.Va from Overwatch capture that common, awkward convention moment when a cosplay group has been posing for ten minutes straight and don’t know if they’re free to go or if twelve more photographers are running up behind them.

Bellatrix LeStrange and Lucius Malfoy welcome their newest Death Eater, Professor Trelawney. Frankly, they’re desperate and taking anybody who’s too distracted to say no.

…and that’s very nearly it for our 2017 costume photos. Cosplay also factored into one of the panels we attended, but we’ll come back to that. We might’ve had dozens more than these if the autograph and photo-op lines hadn’t kept us trapped away from the action a bit longer than we’d expected, or if we were younger and faster, or if we recognized more anime characters anymore. The older we get, the fewer faces and costumes we’re recognizing, which dampens our graying enthusiasm. I hate hate hate posting unlabeled photos. I enjoy learning about new universes, but the crowded show floor isn’t always the best classroom for that. Regardless, we like to praise and share what we can.

To be continued! Other chapters in this special miniseries so far:

Prologue: Two Notes from Wizard World Chicago 2017
Part 1: Comics Cosplay!
Part 2: Animation Cosplay!

[more coming soon]

After the destruction of the One Ring, Samwise Gamgee enjoyed an extravagant victory tour and vaudeville revue.

Saturday marked our fourth trip to HorrorHound Indy, an annual Indianapolis convention in honor of the scary, bloody, icky, haunting, stabbing, disturbing, black-garbed aspects of pop culture. The folks at HorrorHound Magazine orchestrate the festivities so loyal fans of the murderous and the macabre can enjoy a themed geek space of their own apart from Star Wars and Star Trek and whatnot. (Well, mostly.) As we’ve gotten older and more puritanical, our touchpoints with horror, terror, and gross-outs have dwindled in number compared to the average attendee, but the intersections between their guest list and our favorite worlds continue to delight and surprise and draw us back into their waiting wings.

Exhibit A: this year’s reunion of three cast members from The Goonies, which they’ve ruled is sufficiently spooky and/or contains enough human skeletons to be on-topic. You might remember Mikey, the asthmatic yet fearless leader who guided our heroes through convoluted clues, deadly booby traps, and the clutches of the wicked Fratelli family to find hidden pirate treasure and give someone in Hollywood the idea to go make National Treasure someday. I saw The Goonies in theaters when I was 13, a year younger than Mikey. Little did I know he would grow up to be Sean Astin — underdog football winner, savior of Middle-Earth, and sidekick to Encino Man. Bonus points to the esteemed Mr. Astin for very nearly guessing my age, and not just because I look it more than ever.

Also in the house: Ke Huy Quan! Best known to our generation as Short Round from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, he later became the Goonies’ gadgetry expert Data as well as the costar of a short-lived sitcom called Together We Stand, later retitled Nothing Is Easy after their dad Elliott Gould died offscreen under circumstances that were never conclusively proven to be not Data’s fault.

He was so surprised we remembered the sitcom that we ended up in a two-minute conversation that segued into an appraisal of Steven Spielberg’s ’80s heyday.

The third cast member had the longest line of any actor in the house today: Corey Feldman, star or costar of eighty-three thousand movies from 1980 to 1989, half of them costarring the late Corey Haim and several of them watchable. Feldman technically double-majored today as part of a reunion of Joel Schumacher’s The Lost Boys that brought in his vampire-hunting partner from the movie, two of the vampires, and two guys with a song apiece on the soundtrack, including the internet-famous Greased-Up Sax Guy.

Feldman was the last to arrive, and his entrance was hard to miss if you were in the same ballroom. He entered wearing sunglasses and a gilded boxing robe, and was escorted by a pair of angel cosplayers who sat next to him while he signed and accompanied him on breaks.

We were tempted to take photos with him, but his line stretched beyond the ballroom, down the hallway, and into the hotel courtyard outside. Lovely weather for it, though.

I’m 90% certain the angel on the left is his wife Courtney. We know nothing about her understudy.

Goonies and Lost Boys weren’t the weekend’s only guest themes. Also on hand were four veterans from the Buffy/Angel universe. I’d already met Clare Kramer (big bad Glory from Buffy season 5, last seen as stage host at C2E2) and Juliet Landau (a.k.a. Drusilla, met at Wizard World Chicago 2012), but two were new to me. First up: Mercedes McNab, a.k.a. Harmony. Once upon a time she was snobby friend to snobby Cordelia, until the season three finale saw her go down as a vampire casualty, only to arise in later seasons as a casual vampire. Her final line at the end of the Angel season 5 premiere “Conviction” remains my all-time favorite Angel moment.

She remembers the scene vividly because Joss Whedon made her say “Blondie bear!” about 200 times before letting her move on with her life.

Down the way was James C. Leary, best known to Buffy fans as Clem, the loose-skinned demon who hung out with Our Heroes in the later seasons till the going got rough. Clem was proof that not all demons were giant-sized Big Bads. Some were just, y’know, dudes who wanted to go their own way and just so happened to be demons.

Appearing in makeup would’ve delayed him several hours, though.

Last actor we met for the day: character actor Clint Howard! You might remember him from any of the hundreds of films he’s done (with or without his big brother Ronny), but Anne zeroed in on his child-actor years, in particular the classic Star Trek episode “The Corbomite Maneuver”. As the alien Balok, he just wanted to find some friends and drink some tranya.

The scuttlebutt is he’ll have a part in the upcoming Han Solo film, so here’s us getting in on the ground floor with him ahead of the paparazzi.

As always, HorrorHound is more than just actors signing, though they had plenty more of those. We didn’t avail ourselves of the eight (!) cast members from Friday The 13th Part 2, but they seemed to share a healthy line of fans waiting to collect the set. If and when you ran out of money for autographs and photo ops, another ballroom featured their usual Mask Fest, a collection of vendors and craftspeople dedicated to the fine art of monstrous disguises.

We didn’t take as many pics in there as usual. Cool stuff. occasionally sickening and therefore right on target.

All told, the show went smoothly despite the dense crowds. The HorrorHound guys have their system down and know how to maximize the available space at that storied Marriott location. Granted, the vendors’ room once again felt filled beyond capacity and threatened to crush us all against each other, but we’re almost used to that by now, setting apart the one major logjam we encountered involving a double-wide stroller. At one point the photo-op printers hit a technical snag that delayed photo processing for several of us, but they were back up and running within five minutes.

Our most annoying part of the day wasn’t HorrorHound’s fault. Restaurants in the area apparently had no idea HorrorHound was this weekend…or if they did, they failed miserably at preparing for it. We thought it would be convenient and luxurious to grab lunch at the Marriott’s own Skyline Bistro, but we waited in line at least twenty minutes for anyone resembling a host to greet any of us, let alone mention when or even if actual seating would be possible. Eventually we gave up and walked across the street to Arby’s, whose workers struggled to keep up with the influx of customers with blood-spattered T-shirts and other forms of baroque outerwear. Our total time from entry to food receipt was slightly under twenty minutes. Arby’s 1, Skylight 0. And I guess I can’t complain about the money we saved.

Because this is a convention experience entry, of course we have costume photos. We did the best we could within our increasingly limited working knowledge of the fans’ favorite splatter-fests. A few familiar faces wormed their way into the cosplay proceedings, some more at-home than others. Enjoy!

This year saw a 200% increase in Pennywise cosplayers and a 17,000% increase in Pennywise merchandise for sale.

The Grady twins from The Shining.

Jigsaw, the creepy puppet from the Saw Infinite Cinematic Universe.

A very different marionette and puppeteer.

Count Orlok from Nosferatu, appropriately silent.

It’s always convenient at a horror con to have a plague doctor in the house.

Beetlejuice and Lydia hanging out with a variation on those Claymation sandworms, complete with retractable head-within-a-head.

John Hammond from the giant monster movie Jurassic Park, which costarred Samuel L. Jackson’s severed arm, qualifies for inclusion here.

Somewhat debatable: the star of the horror film Spider-Man 3. Wait, no, I’m just misspelling “horrible”.

If there’s a fan film out there in which R2-D2 becomes a deranged serial killer, we haven’t seen it.

Realizing we’re on to the little metal poser, Artoo quickly wheels over to the nearest Jason Voorhees and tries to blend in.

Jason actually blending in with a trio of scream queens.

Our largest group shot of the day. Left to right: Leatherface (star of an upcoming prequel), Jason, Jason, Daryl Dixon, Sexy Ghostbuster, Jason, Leatherface, Michael Myers, and Teen Wolf.

We’re used to seeing the 501st Legion and other Star Wars fan groups at cons, but in Cincinnati they really come out in full Force.

It’s convention time yet again! Yes, AGAIN.

Saturday morning my wife Anne and I drove two hours southeast of Indianapolis to attend the eighth annual Cincinnati Comic Expo in the heart of their downtown that’s not so different from ours. The guest list seemed a little thinner, particularly in the comics department, but we had such a great time last year that we agreed an encore was in order.

But first, as usual: cosplay! Presenting a showcase of the costumes we photographed during our hours walking through and around the exhibit hall. We weren’t there all day, and spent much of our time in lines plus one panel, but we managed to capture a selection of folks who caught our eyes during our limited windows of opportunity. Sorry we don’t have dozens more, but…enjoy!

This year’s show featured four actors from the cinematic world of Harry Potter. We consequently saw a 500% increase in wizard robes at CCE over all other cons we’ve attended this year combined, along with other characters familiar to fans of The Boy Who Lived.

Sirius Black, fresh out of Azkaban.

The living painting that guards the entrance to Hogwart’s Gryffindor House, known only as the Fat Lady until and unless JK Rowling is prepared to divulge her backstory at last.

Potterpool! We expected no less.

We also spent a few minutes trying an assortment of angles on that large Star Wars gathering, who changed positions a few times for variety.

Imperial officers move in for their closeup.

Mara Jade and Director Krennic hang out with the Stormtroopers at the other end.

Jawas walking in like they’re the life of the party.

A lone Tusken Raider who strayed from the herd.

And the rest…

HALO-ish soldier exiting the VR machine, or giant video game booth, or working teleporter, or hair dryer for all I know.

Employees from Los Pollos Hermanos on strike until and unless Breaking Bad returns but with less meth and more chicken.

The Thing, checking his phone every five minutes in case Fox calls to tell him they’re greenlighting a sequel. Poor, poor thing.

Thor and Iron Fist, plus a bonus Daredevil I cruelly overlooked at the time. Sorry, hero dude!

One of the 800+ Jurassic World T-Rexes we’ve seen stalking show floors so far this year.

I totally brake for any and all splicers from Bioshock, whether they’re preying on victims as a couple…

…or single-file but doubly armed.

Nooo ooone goofs on Gaston! No one spoofs our Gaston! No one drops mad rhymes that are bombproof like Gaston’s!

To be concluded!

Ellen Ripley’s Caterpillar P-5000 Work Loader from Aliens. Sure enough, she does have a Class 2 rating.

As it worked out, our last out-of-state foray for 2017 took us to the longest-named event of our year. Since 2012 Fanboy Expo has been a staple of the scene in Knoxville, Tennessee. After a presumably successful show in June, this year they branched out to a second show in October, the Fanboy Expo Totally Awesome Weekend. We’ve never been to a basic Fanboy Expo, but we gathered the Totally Awesome Weekend spinoff was built to focus more on the actor guests than on the “comic” in “comic con”. I deduced this not from any public statements on their part, but on the fact that the guest list on their official website listed five (5) comics/animation artists and six tattoo artists. This is abnormal compared to the events held in our usual bailiwicks.

That disparity doesn’t have to be a terrible thing. My wife Anne and I are more satisfied when a show finds a fair balance comics and entertainment guests. This time, however, we saw FBTAW as a companion piece of sort, the flip side of the previous weekend’s Cartoon Crossroads Columbus. There, I’d had the opportunity to overdose on comics; this weekend it was Anne’s turn for a whirlwind reunion tour with familiar faces from the classic TV of her childhood. It was only fair, especially since her birthday’s this coming week.

The ultimate destination for our 5½-hour drive: the Knoxville Convention Center, opened for business in 2001 at the foot of the world-famous Sunsphere, super-sized souvenir of the 1982 World’s Fair.

If you’re parked downtown, you can enter the handy skybridge opening at Locust Street and Clinch Avenue, and walk directly into the convention center’s upper levels.

The Knoxville Convention Center isn’t the smallest we’ve seen, but was smaller than we expected. It has just two exhibit halls. FBTAW occupied the larger one, while the smaller was devoted to Food City Fest, a big foodie show held by a local supermarket chain. For a second we considered double-majoring, but decided to focus.

FBTAW had everything we’ve come to expect from the cons back home, but on smaller scales. A security checkpoint at the front door kept things safe, and looked more deeply into my bag than any other security guard ever has. At best our bags normally warrant fleeting glances under the assumption that neither of us would be caught dead with a .22 made from 3-D printer parts and wedged at the bottom. The Will Call roster was printed on paper instead of stored in digital devices, and didn’t include the names of anyone who’d bought tickets online within the past week (including us). The show naturally had a line of fans waiting before showtime, but less than a hundred by my count. You can always judge a show’s performance by the first line, whether it’s the village-sized masses of the gargantuan C2E2 or the handful of us who tried to get excited about the flop-tastic Awesome Con Indy three years ago. FBTAW’s entry line wasn’t colossal, but it was a manageable size for a modest affair.

As long as we have cosplay, we know it’s some kind of comic con. And so there was:

Jason Voorhees welcomes you to your doom. I mean, um, to the show.

The amazing spectacular sensational friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

Deadpool (X-Force variant), Harley Quinn, and of cource their li’l daughter Harleypool.

The eponymous Phantasm from the animated Batman: Mask of the Phantasm.

From the world of Bioshock, a splicer and a Little Sister, complete with EVE hypo and creepy dolly.

From their website alone, I honestly couldn’t tell if FBTAW would have any comics dealers, toy salesclerks, craftspeople, printmakers, or even self-published novelists in attendance. At all. They never posted an exhibitor list or a map of the show floor. That’s generally a sign that a given show won’t be large enough for anyone to need those amenities. A few dozen businesses and creative types did indeed show up and ply their wares, but many of them looked like this:

To be fair, Funko Pop peddlers are now a majority space-holder at nearly 75% of all comic-con-shaped shindigs today.

I did find one (1) proprietor at a table selling comics: Storme Smith, publisher and co-founder of Buño Books, who previously exhibited at Baltimore’s SPX in September before coming to Knoxville. Pictured below are the wares they offered: Smith’s own jazz bio-comic Rhythm Man: The Legend of Chick Webb, illustrated by Derick Jones; the all-ages adventure Cloudia & Rex from Ulises Farina and Erick Freitas, collaborators on IDW’s American-ized Judge Dredd series; and the mini-hardcover Light by Rob Cham, an artist/editor/teacher in the Phillippines overtly influenced by Jeff Smith’s Bone. I was so happy to detect a comics presence, I bought one of everything.

Their output is effectively the star of my standard “photo of every comic I bought” that I include in every convention write-up.

Longtime MCC readers have heard me protest in the past that, with extremely few exceptions (Hi, Brian! Hi, Luther!), I don’t buy novels or art prints at conventions. At some shows where prints ‘n’ prose comprise 80% of their Artists Alley, that doesn’t leave much shopping for me to do. It’s kind of a good thing that I also don’t buy back issues anymore because I don’t think I saw more than three comics dealers on site at FBTAW. However, we do owe another shout-out to the folks at Sassy Pants Sweets & Treats, the snack artisans we just saw two weeks ago at Cincinnati Comic Expo. Like us, they seem to be getting around a lot this year and found parts of Knoxville to enjoy.

Note the new faces in their iced sugar cookie lineup!

Beyond the dealers’ area in the center of the exhibit hall, that left the couple dozen actors, musicians, and other talents lining its perimeter for autographing and photo-op purposes. A handful of them became Anne’s best reasons for making Fanboy Expo Totally Awesome Weekend her birthday outing for this year.

The biggest group in the house was an Aliens reunion featuring Michael Biehn, Lance Henriksen, Jenette Goldstein, the two masterminds behind the creature effects, and a handful of the Colonial Marines who, all combined, had fewer lines than Newt. I love the film but opted out of that entire section, which is just as well because Biehn and Henriksen had the longest lines of the day. (I’d already met Henriksen previously.)

Rather, Anne was there for Sesame Street. The quintessential kids’ educational series began in 1969, the year before Anne was born. She spent many years watching its cast of ethnically diverse humans and Muppets living and laughing and singing together in an urban setting, an altogether exotic locale for a white suburban family like hers that needed to know the entire world was more than what she saw around her every day. On hand were four of the actors from her Sesame Street heyday. Of those, she’d already had the mind-blowing chance to meet puppet master Carroll Spinney (Big Bird! Oscar the Grouch!) at the first and so far last Wizard World Indianapolis. The others played live human characters, friendly neighbors integral to the world she knew.

First on her wish list: Bob McGrath, who’d been on the show since the beginning. Bob played the character “Bob”, one of the few white characters. (Though Anne believes the Sesame Street characters had last names, she doesn’t recall ever hearing them on the show.) Bob did much of the singing on the show, continued to do so for a good 45+ years, and has recorded multiple children’s albums.

The kids these days deserve to know Mister Rogers didn’t have a total monopoly on the PBS ultra-benevolent-mentor field.

During Anne’s encounter, Bob pointed out that his wife’s name is Ann, but that she wishes it had an E at the end like hers. When she hugged him, he kissed her on the cheek and thanked her for being a “Sesame Seed” — what they call the kids who grew up watching.

Next table over: Emilio Delgado — a.k.a. Luis, who ran a fix-it shop. He was one of two Hispanic characters she remembers, the other being Maria played by Sonia Manzano. Each of them taught viewers Spanish words; in 1988 they fell in love and got married. Anne made sure to watch even though she was a teenager by then. Bob was best man, while Elmo was ring bearer who fretted about dropping the rings. (Direct quote: “DON’T DROP THE RINGS!”)

He’s also appeared in episodes of House of Cards and the Law & Order franchises, which simply do not compute.

Third table for the hat trick: Roscoe Orman, who played Gordon — the third actor to play Gordon, in fact, but he’s the first one Anne remembers. Gordon was married to another character named Susan. In the late ’80s, Gordon and Susan adopted a son named Miles, who was played by Orman’s real-life son Miles. Roscoe told Anne that Miles now has two kids of his own. Cheers, Grandpa Gordon!

But what’s more important is that Orman also appeared as Detective Freamon’s ex-partner in two episodes of The Wire, which I wish I’d known at the time. In my book this makes him the Greatest Sesame Street Actor of All Time.

(Extra special thanks to Anne for writing 90% of the preceding section. Full disclosure: I seldom got to see Sesame Street as a kid because for whatever reason my grandma never turned our TV to PBS. By the time I earned any real voting authority on our viewing schedule apart from Saturday morning cartoons, I was too old and missed out.)

Aliens and Sesame Street weren’t the only reunions going on. Other classic-TV viewers should recall Norman Lear’s Good Times — the first African-American sitcom, the one that paved the way for everyone from The Cosby Show to Black-ish. I missed the original 1974-1979 run but caught dozens of reruns in syndication, where their take on a loving family in the Chicago high-rise projects was the first show to come anywhere near resembling the section-8 apartment complex of my own lower-class upbringing.

Sadly, momma Esther Rolle passed away in 1998 and stern father-figure John Amos doesn’t do conventions, but their three kids were in the house, beginning with comedian Jimmie “JJ” Walker, he of the catchphrase “DY-NO-MITE!” which was America’s favorite thing for about fifteen minutes back in the 1970s.

He refused to let Anne call him “Mister Walker”, but seemed nice.

Bern Nadette Stanis was middle sister Thelma, who had the displeasure of suffering two brothers but proved a role model for girls like her everywhere that needed to know they did not have to put up with that kind of nonsense. Today she’s an author with four books to her name.

Ms. Stanis was extremely gracious in letting Anne babble on and on (Anne’s words, not mine).

Ralph Carter was Michael, the youngest of the Evans clan. Anne and I both vividly remember the episodes after John Amos’ character was killed off, which left the surviving cast to mark his passing (read: Amos’ firing) in their own ways. Michael was the most devastated of all, lashing out and provoking candid conversations about faith and grief that left a mark on us younger viewers. According to the kindly Mr. Carter, that young boy’s tears weren’t entirely acting.

I’m not sure what he does for a living, but based on the heartfelt depth of our conversation, my guess would be devout pastor — a man of God and a fantastic pleasure to meet.

But wait! The reunions didn’t stop there! Once upon a time five years ago, in a story I have yet to retell online (I promise it’s on the to-do list), Anne got to meet three of the six kids from The Brady Bunch at a special Kings Island event while my son and I went on rides and totally missed out. One of the three remaining Brady kids was on the guest list for FBTAW and neatly crossed his name off her bucket list: Mike Lookinland, known in a former life as li’l Bobby Brady. Anne brought the Kings Island group 8×10 that the other three had signed — a rare photo of the entire cast doing needlepoint together between takes — which Lookinland asked if he could snap a copy on his phone to show his mom. Apparently needlepoint was one of the many activities that kept the kids busy on set while the grown-ups were taking their sweet time with the really boring aspects of making a TV series.

It was his idea to sneak Susan Olsen into the shot for free. Cindy Brady was one of the kids Anne already met at KI.

Anne had also already met the third Brady in their autograph row, but I hadn’t. In addition to his good ol’ days as TV’s Greg Brady, we had fun watching Barry Williams in a recent season of the Food Network’s Worst Cooks in America, in which he and several other stars of lesser stature than The Greg Brady had to compete in a goofy Cooking 101 contest. Williams was denied victory and basically robbed, but the Worst Cooks celebrity editions aren’t exactly the fairest of game shows.

Despite that stinging loss, Williams was more than happy to help me fill my jazz-hands quota for the day.

Look closely and you’ll notice he let me borrow his tiki idol! But then he made me give it back before a piano could fall on my head.

Longtime MCC readers know jazz hands are our thing when it comes to actor photos. To date we’ve met exactly two celebrities (Rosario Dawson and Brenda Strong) who responded with the phrase “Fosse Fingers”. Williams topped them both: not only did he work with the legendary Broadway choreographer Bob Fosse in his youth, Fosse gave him his first post-Brady gig as the lead role in Pippen. To bask in the presence of a performer who’d actually, literally been paid to master the fine art of jazz hands…let’s be honest: no other convention has ever given us that before. Frankly, I was floored.

Nevertheless, I composed myself and prepared for our final encounter of the day: John Wesley Shipp! Comic book fans of my generation fondly remember him as Barry Allen, our hero from the original 1990 TV version of The Flash. Younger fans today have seen him in the CW’s current take on the DC Comics mythos, in which Shipp has played both Barry’s beleaguered dad and the elder Flash of another Earth who’s been a mentor to the promising upstart speedster. The new show’s gotten a number of things right and impressed me at turns (and, okay, sometimes frustrated me), but one of its cleverest moves to date was letting the original Flash shine as he passes on the legacy of heroism.

Beyond just dropping by and putting the “awesome” in “Totally Awesome Weekend”, Shipp was also plugging his audio drama Powder Burns, an ongoing Western series about a blind sheriff.

Extremely nice guy, worth the 5½-hour drive.

…and that was just about it for our Fanboy Expo Totally Awesome Weekend 2017. None of these tremendous folks had long lines early in the day, though I certainly hope that changed later for the better. Between the lack of crowds and the small dealer turnout, we considered ourselves wrapped up before noon. Admission was cheaper than the average con, leaving us satisfied and guiltless at our early departure. They had Q&As scheduled for later in the afternoon, but we can take or leave those, and we had some ideas on local tourism, which we’ll cover in future entries.

For the size of show and breadth of guest list, FBTAW suited us fine and we appreciate the experience. I can’t say for certain whether or not we’ll be back, but our noncommittal response is no fault of theirs. Anne and I keep telling each other we need to do fewer shows in 2018, and preferably keep them closer to home — partly due to burnout, partly because we have new expenses in our immediate future, and mostly because the time expenditure is complicating some things for us. But if we can keep finding the right mix of suitable guest lists, manageable drives, and worthy comics creators, you’ll hear about them here ASAP on MCC.

Thanks for reading! Lord willing, see you next con…